Sanctified

[alchemyalice]

Title: Sanctified
Genre: Songfic
Rating: R
Warnings: None, really. The rating pretty much covers it. Sort of a coda to 5.14? Because those are totes all the rage right now.
Word Count: ~500
Pairing: Dean/Cas
Author's Note: This was going to be part of a longer arc of songfic/fanmix thing that I'm working on, but it doesn't fit anymore, so I slapped some extremely flimsy backstory in there and am throwing it out here instead. Also, how has this song not been used for Dean/Cas already? It's practically screaming them. Or maybe I just missed something.
Summary: Dean expected him to taste human.


Dean expected him to taste human. He's in a human vessel after all, and a devout one at that, an ordinary man who just happened to say yes to a force he did not truly understand. But Castiel doesn’t taste human.

He tastes like righteousness.

Dean had asked this of him--not this specifically, Christ not that, but something, a benediction in a time of desperation. He felt hollowed out and worn, like Michael had already come and gone, scraping him out with the steel wool of Heaven's power. He needed a line, anything to grasp to, and assurance that he is not damned to make wrong choices, over and over. Because Sam is in the panic room, and whiskey tastes like ash in his mouth, and this can't go on much longer. Not without something giving way.

But Castiel had come to him in the darkness of the salvage yard, and just said, "You ask me for an act you have no need for. It has already been done."

"When?" Dean demanded.

Castiel didn't say anything, just placed his hand on the raised burn on the flesh of Dean's shoulder. "If I believed you could withstand it, I would have you remember," he said quietly. "As it is, you will have to take my word for it."

"I can't," Dean said, though he feels the warmth of the brand like a tightness and a want. "I wish I could, Cas. But I just can't."

"No," Castiel agreed, reading him. "But then again, words have never been your forte."

Dean would have been indignant about that, but all the words died in his throat when the angel cupped his face in his borrowed hands and pulled him down to kiss his brow.

"I cannot do more than what I have already," the angel murmured against his skin. "But the physical is ever an echo of what the soul knows first."

And Dean hadn't known how much he needed, wanted. But Castiel had placed a blessing on his head with a feather-soft touch, and it was a drop of water in a desert. Dean can't even pause to beg permission. He just surges, and takes.

It is lightning and purity and acid, and it burns as Dean pushes into his mouth and sinks his teeth into flesh that feels more like a papery mask than a person. Castiel is right there, under the surface, thrumming with power and gripping with burning hands at Dean’s back and the hitches and curves of his limbs, drawing him ever forward as if Dean could sink into him entirely. And Dean wants to, he wants to burn up in that inferno of light and goodness and forgiveness, for it to char his sins into ash to sluice off his skin.

But it doesn’t work like that; he is confined to flesh, and his soul is tarnished, this angel’s self-demeaning act a mercy, a spit-polish on his ever failing convictions.

Dean can’t stop, even with this knowledge.

Blasphemy, he thinks, even as he slides his hands up pale and sweat-slicked shoulder blades. This is blasphemy.

I am justified.
I am purified.
I am sanctified,
Inside you.

 

Comments

[electraroad.livejournal.com]

That was very well written... I didn't notice until I was done but I was holding my breath while I was reading it. I hope you will still go ahead with your larger songfic/fanmix arc, even if this becomes a smaller piece within it. I think it would be worth reading twice just to get more.
(One quick note is it "sluice" to "slice" in the last line of the 11th paragraph because sluice is a word too)
Great job, I hope you consider writing more!!!

[alchemyalice.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it. I am currently working on the larger arc, and should hopefully finish it sometime soon, but this part just didn't fit in with the rest of them. And yes, I was going for "sluice"--I think I'm using it correctly? (Checking dictionary...) yes, I think it works :P

Thank you for reading!

[kundello.livejournal.com]

...that was beautiful. *_* I absolutely love the way you write.

[alchemyalice.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! That is very kind of you to say :)